How do you achieve marital bliss was my last question on this blog. Of course, that question is very complex and I only think I've figured out a piece to the puzzle. I also think that this puzzle piece can be applied to more than just marriage... but overall happiness in life. I've discovered joy. Joy is not a mere emotion that comes and goes based on your circumstances. Joy is an attitude and a choice... a choice to accept the gift that God has given us. We can't create joy for ourselves, but we can experience it by choosing to remember how blessed we are in this life by God and his goodness.
At the church Neil and I have recently started to attend, they are doing a nine week series on the fruits of the spirit. The second fruit is joy. The pastor really enlightened me about this overlooked fruit. It is so important to be joyful in life... God created us for his own pleasure, naturally he would want us to experience joy from our existence as well. I feel like this is where I've been going wrong in my own life... especially recently. And even when I look back at my past experiences, and I consider the hardest times I've gone through in life, I've noticed that my joy was lacking. Now, some might think that's like what came first? The chicken or the egg? ... Was I not joyful because my ex-fiance was cheating on me? How can anyone be joyful in that situation? Was I not joyful because I felt like my relationship with my mother was strained? Isn't it normal for teenage girls to have mood swings?
These things could explain my dark periods in life... but I think they could just be poor excuses. Granted, when my ex cheated on me (more than one time), it was justified that I felt heartbroken and betrayed. But the truth is... to this day, I consider that wrong-doing and I still feel pain. God doesn't want us to do that to ourselves. To experience the joy of Jesus is to live in the present, reflecting on the good things in our lives.
A lot of times when Neil and I argue about something, I have a hard time letting it go. Then, I begin to think about all the things we've argued about... or how often we've been arguing recently... and it makes me sad. I think about the things he does that bother me... and I rack my brain for all the negative things I can come up with. And sometimes, after I've done all that...I go back further in my past. I think about all the regrets and mistakes I've made. I wonder how come my ex cheated on me and if I could be lovable. I even blame myself for his unfaithfulness. I wonder if Neil and I would have a better marriage if I was a better person before we met. And those are the lies that Satan likes to tell me. It's an awful cycle. I'm sad, so I think of sad things and it makes me sadder.. etc. And it's all because Satan wants to suck the joy right out of my heart. Why?
Because God wants joy in my heart. He wants to give me and everyone in the world his unending love and joy. And I think that's a key to marital bliss. Joy in marriage... remembering to be thankful that you have a husband who loves you no matter what stupid thing you do or say and that out of all the women in the world, he chose you as his wife...remembering God's love and grace and forgiveness toward you and all of your mistakes so that when your spouse makes a mistake (or many mistakes) you pass on that same grace to them...remembering the good and letting go of the bad... this is how you achieve a piece of marital bliss. But we can't do it alone... we definitely need God's help. He's the continual reminder of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Hey! Maybe all of those things are the way to marital bliss... and eternal bliss. I'm not perfect, but in my weakness, he is strong.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQo2FJPLeQk
I've got that joy joy joy joy down in my heart! *where?
down in my heart! *where? down in my heart!
I've got that joy joy joy joy down in my heart... down in my heart to stay!
And I'm so happy, so very happy
I've got the love of Jesus in my h-e-a-r-t
Yes I'm so happy so very happy
I've got the love of Jesus in my heart!
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