He's Not That Bad...

When writing this blog, I do a lot of venting. Some of you may read the words I say when things between Neil and I are at their worst and get worried. Don't worry. My husband is a blessing from God and I love him to death. I know he loves me too. We just get into a lot of crap, like everyone else does. Anyway, today I talked to him about how I felt like he has "gotten used to me," and how I don't feel as appreciated as I did when we were first dating. This is a normal feeling since we're past the dating stage, but it's still good to keep romance alive even after you've been married for a long time. That way, when you have problems, you can remember the good things easier because they are recent.

After telling Neil how I felt, he did the sweetest thing. I was at my friend's house today in Springfield. He called me and told me that he "made me something" that he wanted to give to me when I got back. It was a card :) And it was really cute.

On the front of the card, he drew a door... and it says "If you're a special lady, come on inside..."

He wrote a poem inside. :)

I asked God to put a good woman in my life
To Him I truly pleaded
Instead of just giving me what I wanted
He gave me exactly what I needed.

"Brandy," He said. "She's the one I shall join to you.
You might not always see eye-to-eye, but with MY help
there is nothing your marriage can't do."

So I trust that the Lord knows what He's doing,
and wrote this poem for a woman in dire need of woo-ing.

I guess he's not that bad... and he's always telling me that my blog is lopsided on my perspective. I tend to only write when I'm frustrated with him or angry. But, just to show you all who read that my husband really is a good guy, I thought today I'd write a good blog about him.

Love you Neil.

Negative Comments...

Sometimes it's really hard to feel love toward my husband when I feel negativity coming my direction. Maybe I'm the one who needs to change and let things go more. However, I feel like my ideas aren't valued. It is often the case where I come up with an idea about something or other and Neil disagrees with me and I feel like I have to fight with him and defend my idea before he finally "allows" it, as if I need a person in my life who "allows" my ideas. I do often feel like I'm being controlled. It's to the point now where I can anticipate an argument if I bring up something that might initiate a change in what we've already been doing or anything for that matter. For example, we've been keeping our broom and dustpan in the kitchen since we've been living together. The reason why we did that at our apartment was because there was no where else to put it. Now, in our house we have a laundry room that is connected to the kitchen. I thought it would be a good idea to keep the broom back there because it's not often that I see a broom as a staple kitchen decoration. Since we have the space we should use it. So I asked Neil, "What do you think about putting the broom in the laundry room instead of the kitchen?" His reply,
"No, I don't like that idea. I like it to be in the kitchen because I use it so much and can have immediate access to it."
My thoughts are ... so??? you can't walk an extra 4 feet to grab it out of the laundry room? I don't understand why that is such a big deal. You might agree with me that this argument is petty, but it's the little stuff like this that goes on daily in our marriage which causes me to feel unloved at times. It would be nice for me to offer up an idea or solution to something and be told that my idea was a good one... or even just hear, "oh yeah, that's fine with me." rather than feeling like I always have to have an argument ready to defend my point. It would be nice to be told that I did a good job when I offered help or was asked to help with something, it's more often that I hear criticism and am told how I could do better next time or what I did wrong. I think Paul was on to something when he wrote,
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29

Then again, maybe by posting this blog, I have fallen into the same problem as my husband. Oh the irony.