Negative Comments...

Sometimes it's really hard to feel love toward my husband when I feel negativity coming my direction. Maybe I'm the one who needs to change and let things go more. However, I feel like my ideas aren't valued. It is often the case where I come up with an idea about something or other and Neil disagrees with me and I feel like I have to fight with him and defend my idea before he finally "allows" it, as if I need a person in my life who "allows" my ideas. I do often feel like I'm being controlled. It's to the point now where I can anticipate an argument if I bring up something that might initiate a change in what we've already been doing or anything for that matter. For example, we've been keeping our broom and dustpan in the kitchen since we've been living together. The reason why we did that at our apartment was because there was no where else to put it. Now, in our house we have a laundry room that is connected to the kitchen. I thought it would be a good idea to keep the broom back there because it's not often that I see a broom as a staple kitchen decoration. Since we have the space we should use it. So I asked Neil, "What do you think about putting the broom in the laundry room instead of the kitchen?" His reply,
"No, I don't like that idea. I like it to be in the kitchen because I use it so much and can have immediate access to it."
My thoughts are ... so??? you can't walk an extra 4 feet to grab it out of the laundry room? I don't understand why that is such a big deal. You might agree with me that this argument is petty, but it's the little stuff like this that goes on daily in our marriage which causes me to feel unloved at times. It would be nice for me to offer up an idea or solution to something and be told that my idea was a good one... or even just hear, "oh yeah, that's fine with me." rather than feeling like I always have to have an argument ready to defend my point. It would be nice to be told that I did a good job when I offered help or was asked to help with something, it's more often that I hear criticism and am told how I could do better next time or what I did wrong. I think Paul was on to something when he wrote,
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29

Then again, maybe by posting this blog, I have fallen into the same problem as my husband. Oh the irony.