Damn Scoliosis

Only 21 days to go... well more like 20 now... and my back is giving me problems. God, please, please make my back feel better. I went to the chiropractor again today, an emergency visit because I was in so much pain last night and at work today. I felt immediate relief after he worked his magic. But then at home, while watching a movie, my back started bothering me again. My only prayer at this point is that my crooked spine stops causing me so many problems and that I can make it through our wedding day. It's the day I've been looking forward to all my life... and back pain is something I didn't imagine being a part of it. If you've never gone through back pain, or if you've never been with someone as they're going through back pain... you might just think I'm being a big baby. But it's the worst pain I've ever felt. I've never given birth... so we'll see if it's worse someday. But I hope it's not.

Last night we went to small group and it was really nice. Our group threw us a mini-shower :). They had cupcakes for us from the cupcakery (my favorite place ever) and a nice card and gift for us. We thought that was very thoughtful and a great blessing.

I'm off work this weekend. No plans for Halloween... I don't feel like dressing up like a slut and getting wasted... and I'm too old for trick or treating. I would want to cuddle on the couch and watch the Nightmare Before Christmas or something with my lover... but our couch makes my back hurt. Damn back. I guess we'll see what the weekend holds. 3 weeks until I'm Mrs Mutschler. I have a lot to be happy about. What gives me the right to ask God for more blessings like healing for my back? ... I guess it's awesome that He cares about us as much as He does. Because I know he hears my cry and understands my pain.

Thanks God for being here with me. Please bring me comfort and relieve my pain. Help me to mentally prepare for the wedding in the next few weeks, and help me to focus on what it means to be a woman of God and a good wife to Neil. I love you. Amen.

This is really going to happen

25 days. In 25 days I will be Mrs. Neil Mutschler. :) OMG! 25 days ago it was the last day of September! That is going to be here so soon! I've been anxiously awaiting the wedding day because well honestly, I just want it to be over lol. I mean, I know it's going to be a wonderful day, but all this planning and organizing and directing and deciding has been so much work and I'm ready to be finished with it. I just want to enjoy being the wife to a wonderful husband. But I have to admit... When I looked at the calendar just now and considered how short 25 days actually is, I panicked a little. Not a bad panic. Maybe panic isn't the right word. I guess I've been so busy keeping track of the days and getting excited about it arriving that it just caught me by surprise that when the day actually gets here, it's going to be HUGE. It means so much. It's going to be life-changing. I mean, not so life-altering like I don't think I can get used to it... but life-changing in the sense that for the first time ever, I will have security and peace. Being with Neil has changed my life for the better...and the day we say our vows, we are making the real commitment to be with each other through everything-good or bad. I've never had anyone make a promise to me like that before... and I've never been expected to promise this to anyone before. I'm so lucky to have someone in my life who I trust with everything... who I know will always love me and try his hardest to not let me down. Of course, everyone makes mistakes. But when I think about all the things I've gone through in my life... family members who I don't know; my parents' ridiculous relationship with each other; my dad's drug addiction; my mom's selfishness; our family's low economic status as a kid.... things have never been stable. I'm used to rocky roads. I feel like whatever life throws our way, Neil and I will conquer it. We're both strong people. We both love each other so much. And wow.... in 25 days, we're going to make promises to each other and to God that we'll keep forever. We'll never leave each other. I know that I can trust him with all my heart. It's an amazing feeling. I don't know why God chose to bless me this way. I know I didn't do anything to deserve him... but I'm going to treasure him forever.

Wedding Woes

Okay, so I hate to complain about this stuff. But I have to get it off my chest. Are people that ignorant when it comes to proper etiquette? Not with just weddings, but any party, it's all pretty much the same common sense stuff.

1. It is rude to invite yourself to someone's wedding. If you didn't get an invitation, it might sting, but c'mon. We haven't spoken in over a year and we were never that close to begin with... why would you send me a message on facebook asking to come to my wedding? Do you not realize that your seat is expensive? Close friends and family only, sorry.

2. Similar to number one, don't invite someone else to come to a wedding with you unless you specifically have permission from the bride and groom. I mean, really? I know I should be nicer about this, but I'm a cheapskate. I invited my aunt and uncle and cousin... not my aunt, uncle, cousin and aunt's sister-in-law; whom I have only met one time and she wasn't very nice to me either. Why would I want to pay for someone I don't know or like to dine at my wedding? What gives you the right to invite someone else without asking me? And that also goes for my friends who have added dates without asking me. It's one thing if you aren't going to know anyone there. But the reason why you didn't get a plus one is because you know quite a few people there. What is your problem?

3. SO TIRED OF YOUR OPINIONS. I have learned the hard way to NOT talk to other people about what we are incorporating in our wedding. (this is especially true for in laws). I hate feeling crushed after something I thought was such a cute idea gets trampled on by other people's negativity. It's not your wedding and it's not your business. Yes, my dress has a different stylistic element than yours did. Yes, we are taking pictures before the ceremony. No, we are not using traditional music. Yes, we ARE having a dollar dance. No, we are not getting married in a church. Yes, GOD WILL STILL BE THERE!

4. And lastly, this goes along with number 1 and 2. Your new boyfriend whom you invited to my wedding without asking me, (the guy I went to high school with and never talked to) is not allowed at my BACHELORETTE party. Yeah, someone actually asked me this. I have no idea what she was thinking.

It feels good to get all that off my chest. :) The wedding is in 36 days.... I can't wait!