How do you achieve marital bliss was my last question on this blog. Of course, that question is very complex and I only think I've figured out a piece to the puzzle. I also think that this puzzle piece can be applied to more than just marriage... but overall happiness in life. I've discovered joy. Joy is not a mere emotion that comes and goes based on your circumstances. Joy is an attitude and a choice... a choice to accept the gift that God has given us. We can't create joy for ourselves, but we can experience it by choosing to remember how blessed we are in this life by God and his goodness.
At the church Neil and I have recently started to attend, they are doing a nine week series on the fruits of the spirit. The second fruit is joy. The pastor really enlightened me about this overlooked fruit. It is so important to be joyful in life... God created us for his own pleasure, naturally he would want us to experience joy from our existence as well. I feel like this is where I've been going wrong in my own life... especially recently. And even when I look back at my past experiences, and I consider the hardest times I've gone through in life, I've noticed that my joy was lacking. Now, some might think that's like what came first? The chicken or the egg? ... Was I not joyful because my ex-fiance was cheating on me? How can anyone be joyful in that situation? Was I not joyful because I felt like my relationship with my mother was strained? Isn't it normal for teenage girls to have mood swings?
These things could explain my dark periods in life... but I think they could just be poor excuses. Granted, when my ex cheated on me (more than one time), it was justified that I felt heartbroken and betrayed. But the truth is... to this day, I consider that wrong-doing and I still feel pain. God doesn't want us to do that to ourselves. To experience the joy of Jesus is to live in the present, reflecting on the good things in our lives.
A lot of times when Neil and I argue about something, I have a hard time letting it go. Then, I begin to think about all the things we've argued about... or how often we've been arguing recently... and it makes me sad. I think about the things he does that bother me... and I rack my brain for all the negative things I can come up with. And sometimes, after I've done all that...I go back further in my past. I think about all the regrets and mistakes I've made. I wonder how come my ex cheated on me and if I could be lovable. I even blame myself for his unfaithfulness. I wonder if Neil and I would have a better marriage if I was a better person before we met. And those are the lies that Satan likes to tell me. It's an awful cycle. I'm sad, so I think of sad things and it makes me sadder.. etc. And it's all because Satan wants to suck the joy right out of my heart. Why?
Because God wants joy in my heart. He wants to give me and everyone in the world his unending love and joy. And I think that's a key to marital bliss. Joy in marriage... remembering to be thankful that you have a husband who loves you no matter what stupid thing you do or say and that out of all the women in the world, he chose you as his wife...remembering God's love and grace and forgiveness toward you and all of your mistakes so that when your spouse makes a mistake (or many mistakes) you pass on that same grace to them...remembering the good and letting go of the bad... this is how you achieve a piece of marital bliss. But we can't do it alone... we definitely need God's help. He's the continual reminder of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Hey! Maybe all of those things are the way to marital bliss... and eternal bliss. I'm not perfect, but in my weakness, he is strong.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQo2FJPLeQk
I've got that joy joy joy joy down in my heart! *where?
down in my heart! *where? down in my heart!
I've got that joy joy joy joy down in my heart... down in my heart to stay!
And I'm so happy, so very happy
I've got the love of Jesus in my h-e-a-r-t
Yes I'm so happy so very happy
I've got the love of Jesus in my heart!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
How do you achieve marital bliss?
Why do I feel like my husband thinks he has to babysit me? I'm putting my best foot forward to be patient with him. Even when he irritates me, I try to politely tell him how I feel and it always turns into a huge ordeal. I feel like he has never really trusted that I can get by without his help. Probably because he's been helping me from day one. I feel like my independence has been stripped away. I don't want to be entirely independent, we're married after all. But I do want him to trust that there are some things I can do without him reminding me all the time. For example, if there is something on my list of things to do... and the day has just started and I'm still working on checking things off... he doesn't need to remind me to do them!!!!!! Sigh. I hope tonight is a good night for us. I'm tired of arguing every night. I want us both to be in better moods. How does anyone achieve marital bliss? Is it possible?
Monday, January 3, 2011
A New Year
It's the beginning of a new year again. Naturally, that causes people to reflect on the past year... or two... or however many they feel like I guess. So many milestones this year... where to begin?
Tried and failed to workout on a regular basis... what's new? Maybe if I chat with the chiropractor, he'll give me permission to zumba again... we shall see.
Quit, what in my opinion, was the worst job in the world (teller at a bank) to work in a more fun environment as a server at Red Robin. Even though I've had my ups and downs at this new job... I'd much rather work somewhere that keeps me busy and not watching the clock all the time.
I planned and attended my wedding.... married my best friend in the world... and we've almost known each other for two years now :)
I graduated from SIUE with my BS (bach of science even though I had to go through a lot of BS to finally finish it...) in psychology...preparing for graduate school, if they like me enough.
Life is good. And it's all for God's glory. Maybe to glorify him more... I can work on a few other things.
1. My primary goal for the year is to be more patient with my husband. He's a gift from God and I love him so much... I hate that I can't help but become easily annoyed by him sometimes. I know it's in my power to change with God's help. If I really want to show Neil how much I love him... I need to be patient with him, kind to him, forgive him and overcome our obstacles together with him. That's a HUGE goal... baby steps...
2. Get involved with the community. I want to volunteer and help other people... No school for 8 months... besides working extra hours, reaching out to others is a good use of my time... along with..
3. Keeping the house clean. Eh.. this is gonna be hard. I don't care about it as much as Neil. But, my desk is clean and that's a start! Working on the laundry now... and who knows what else might get done when I'm at home! ... I'll keep you updated :) lol.
4. Read more books. Maybe I could go to the library and get a card. I'd like to learn more about classic literature. Funny (as in irony) how I'm interested in reading when it's not being forced on me. God only knows when grad school starts, I won't have time for enjoyable reading again. So I think it'd be good to take advantage of the opportunity I have now.
5. Hit the gym. Even if I can't do zumba... I really want to be active. So sick of all my sweet-tooth cravings going straight to my hips.
6. Most importantly, I have to work on being a better imitator of Jesus.* In everything I do, all of these goals listed here... I need to do them with His attitude. That's a big one to work on, but I think I can do it.** :)
Happy New Year
*Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. (Ephesians 5:1-2)
**I can do all things through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)
Tried and failed to workout on a regular basis... what's new? Maybe if I chat with the chiropractor, he'll give me permission to zumba again... we shall see.
Quit, what in my opinion, was the worst job in the world (teller at a bank) to work in a more fun environment as a server at Red Robin. Even though I've had my ups and downs at this new job... I'd much rather work somewhere that keeps me busy and not watching the clock all the time.
I planned and attended my wedding.... married my best friend in the world... and we've almost known each other for two years now :)
I graduated from SIUE with my BS (bach of science even though I had to go through a lot of BS to finally finish it...) in psychology...preparing for graduate school, if they like me enough.
Life is good. And it's all for God's glory. Maybe to glorify him more... I can work on a few other things.
1. My primary goal for the year is to be more patient with my husband. He's a gift from God and I love him so much... I hate that I can't help but become easily annoyed by him sometimes. I know it's in my power to change with God's help. If I really want to show Neil how much I love him... I need to be patient with him, kind to him, forgive him and overcome our obstacles together with him. That's a HUGE goal... baby steps...
2. Get involved with the community. I want to volunteer and help other people... No school for 8 months... besides working extra hours, reaching out to others is a good use of my time... along with..
3. Keeping the house clean. Eh.. this is gonna be hard. I don't care about it as much as Neil. But, my desk is clean and that's a start! Working on the laundry now... and who knows what else might get done when I'm at home! ... I'll keep you updated :) lol.
4. Read more books. Maybe I could go to the library and get a card. I'd like to learn more about classic literature. Funny (as in irony) how I'm interested in reading when it's not being forced on me. God only knows when grad school starts, I won't have time for enjoyable reading again. So I think it'd be good to take advantage of the opportunity I have now.
5. Hit the gym. Even if I can't do zumba... I really want to be active. So sick of all my sweet-tooth cravings going straight to my hips.
6. Most importantly, I have to work on being a better imitator of Jesus.* In everything I do, all of these goals listed here... I need to do them with His attitude. That's a big one to work on, but I think I can do it.** :)
Happy New Year
*Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. (Ephesians 5:1-2)
**I can do all things through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)
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